The girls

Well, now that I've been in El Alfarero for a month it seemed a good time to introduce you to the fourteen girls who live here in the home, so you can get a better idea of who it is that I am spending all my time with!

The challenge of course is deciding which ones I should introduce you to. I'm going to start with girl a, because she's one of the girls whom I have a particular affection for - I know that I'm not supposed to play favourites, and I don't, but I think theres always going to be some people who your hears goes out to more. Although shes twelve, she only looks about 10, and she varies between acting slightly young for her age and much older. Shes one of those girls whos on the cusp of childhood and adolescence, so is still playing kids games but is also interested in the things the older girls too. Its funny how even though cultures and places change dramatically, some things about people, especially children and teenagers, are the same everywhere. One of the most tragic moments I've had while being here was when Lupe accounted her life story to me, because its just so horrific. She was abused sexually by her stepfather (as was her sister, who was raped by her step father when she was eight)and went on to work as a prostitute and take drugs, all before she arrived at the home when she was eleven or twelve. The vast majority of the time shes a complete pleasure to work with, and is very affectionate and always wants to play. But like a lot of the girls, she does have an anger problem, and when she gets angry tends to lash out rather, especially with the other younger girls. The thing that always surprises me is that when the girls get aggressive with each other, they hit each other really hard! The kind of kicks and punches that hurt you just to hear about them.

GIrl b is the youngest, whos only nine, and she was sent here from Tarija (a southern province of Bolivia) by a day centre she used to go to there. Her family situation was pretty bad, her mother and her stepfather are both drunks, and although she doesn't like to talk about, she was probably abused by her step father also. Tomorrow Yanyt and Salustio are having a meeting with the girls parents, and noteabley shes the only one without some kind of family member coming - a representative from the day centre is coming instead. Theres been quite a few problems surrounding Lidia at the home lately, as she does have a tendency to not want to do her chores etc, and (especially when she thinks no one is looking!) is really rude to the older girls. In response, this means that a lot of the aggression of the older girls is directed towards her, and we are stuck between wanting to help her improve her behaviour and repeatedly telling the others that under no circumstances are they allowed to hit her, regardless of what she said or how annoying she was being! Plus, as far as I can see, occassionally the things that irritate the other girls are as much to do with her being nine as her saying horrible things to them! Other than that, although she can be lazy she is also extremely smart: she put it off for ages, but when she eventually sat down to learn the nine times table she had it conquered in one day! Her reading is a lot better than that of some of the other girls.

Girl c was pregnant when I arrived, and gave birth before I moved all my stuff into El Alfarero. Her baby sone is tiny and extremely cute, but it amazes me how fast he is growing already! I have already learned how to change cloth nappies - although that was on the bigger kid, Marcos. She always impresses me by her commitment to her son, which does rather vary from the other mum, who inclines towards letting the other girls take care of her child. I was joking with ehr that she never stops washing clothes, because every time I see her she seems to be at the washing sinks. She is genuinely a really nice girl, whom I know had drug problems before she came to the home, and I hope that we can be friends. Shes had a few health problems lately, as the people who stiched her up after her cesaerian left some thread in there (very clever) which meant that it kept opening up and getting infected.

One more girl and then I'll leave it there for now! I may do some more tomorrow and on Thursday when I have another free day. I'm going to go for girl d, as shes perhaps one of the most unusual girls at the home. Shes extremely dyslexic and can barely read or do her times tables, and doesn't really have the motivation to overcome her dyslexia, nor do there really seem to be the facilities to help her. It looks her parents just gave up on her learning because she found it so difficult, and as a result of this shes reached the age of 17 barely literate. On top of this though, I think that she must have some kind of other learning difficulty, as she is extremely young for 17, doesn't have a very good sense of boundaries and has no idea of when to stop. I can't really explain it properly, but if you met her, you would know what I meant! On the plus side, she is extremely capable in other ways: shes really good at taking care of the little ones, for example, and cooks really well. Shes quick to apologise whenever she does something wrong.

On a personal note, this last week wasn't really easy for me, although things are looking up know after I had a chat with Salustio. I was feeling quite strongly the isolation at the home, where i don't see that many people my own age, and I only speak English when we have visitors. (I know that technically that is a good thing but it doesn't make it easy!) I was also feeling slightly unsure of whether or not I was doing a good job or not, which always makes me think that i'm doing a bad job, because if I wasn't, they would say! However, I spoke to Salustio who says that I am doing fine, and on my part, I'm going to try to make more of an effort to be friends with them as a couple. Its funny, but it never actually crossed my mind to do that - maybe because I'm not used to having friends who are so much older than me!

Until next time!

Paula