Well, as promised, I'm back on my next free day (I do love them) to give you more wee bios about the girls I'm working with. Someone did point out to me that it might not be such a good idea to give out so much information about people, so rather than giving you their actual names, I'm going to call them girl number 1, girl number 2 etc. Slightly more impersonal but hey-ho!
Girl number 1 (!) has been at the home for coming up to two years now, and is so one of the girls who might be seen as having been more settled. However, often it seems to only take one thing to shake everything up and for a lot of issues that seemed to have been resolved to come back to the fore. Because of various issues that have been going on at school, that I don't really know about, she's been feeling a bit shakier lately. This is the main reason why the girls are kept out of school for a bit when they first arrive at the home, because of all the things that come up there which are precisely the challenges they are facing: mainly things like drugs and boys. These are not, after all, girls who have managed to have any kind of healthy relationship with the opposite sex. She does get on well in school, and seems to be really intelligent: I was helping her with her English the other day. She has some of the character defects that thirteen year old girls everywhere have i.e. the tendency to be a wee bit of a whiner, but then, didn't we all have that tendency at some stage? Or was (is) that just me? She is also one of the three girls who sometimes goes out in the afternoon to accomplish various things. They're not allowed to go out alone, for obvious reasons, so sometimes its been left to me to go with them when they go to study with their friends and things like that. I do understand the reasons why they don't want to leave them alone, but it is also slightly awkward being in a situation where you know that nobody wants you to be there.
I recently had the challenge (!) of helping girl number two with her school work when the school was closed for the day. Another one of the younger ones, she’s probably the one I have the most difficulty understand: not only because she speaks Spanish at quite such top speed, but also because in so many ways she is so closed off. The teachers who come into the home are really close to refusing to teach her anymore because she is so disrespectful to them and, as I learned, when she doesn’t want to do something, she will just close off entirely and refuse to do it. When I was working with her, she refused to admit that she even knew how to read (she does) or that she remembered anything of a story that we read less than a minute ago. Like the other little girls, she has a background in sexual abuse, although in her case I’m not sure if it was in the family or in school. She has a great sense of fun which is always a good thing, but, like some of the others, she doesn’t seem to have the capacity to know when to stop. For me it is very difficult with all of them to know where playing stops and fighting begins! I would really like to be able to talk with her more, because I hate the idea that people are already giving up on her when she is still so young, even though I understand how difficult she can be.
Girl number three recently wanted to leave the home, to the extent that Salustio took her all the way back to her parents house before she decided that she wanted to come back. She told me a bit of her life story when we were washing clothes together – I can’t say that I understood all of it, but enough to know that she used to regularly run away from home to go to the street, where she was part of a prostitution gang. It’s always hard for me to imagine the girls as prostitutes, minus a few, because it just seems so unlikely! She was in school previously, but she was pulled out because her behaviour was so unstable. Shes a lovely girl, very affectionate etc, but I would say that her main real flaw is a tendency to be lazy and to form cliques that exclude other people – certainly a strong sign of insecurity in a young girl.
Girl number four has one of those ‘bright lights big city’ stories that will be familiar to anyone who has ever watched television: she came to the city to get away from her family and to find a job, and ended up being forced into prostitution. Her pimp was unhappy when she fell pregnant, and so sent some thugs to beat her up, to get rid of the baby. It was so bad that she ended up having to have an almost total skull reconstruction and can now feel nothing on one side of her head. She’s only just stopped wearing headscarves because her hair has started to grow back in. Like many of the others, she does have a front of just getting on with life and being happy, but you can occasionally see that her past does come back to haunt her and bring up issues in the present. She also has a four year old son who presently lives with her mother, and may at some point be coming to live in the home.
Significant events of the last week:
1. I have a friend! News indeed. A Bolivian girl called Sandra has also come to work at the home, and I already feel like its making a difference to have someone my own age around. Well, she is eight years older than me, but it still kind of counts as my own age!
2. There was a meeting with the girls relatives (some of them) last weekend, which seemed to go pretty well, and its always good to touch base with them.
3. I went to my first staff meeting yesterday and the chat was mainly centred around the problems that are coming in finances through the lowering value of the dollar, and the poor quality pound to dollar exchange rate. They’re losing a huge amount of money not because their support has gone down, but because the support that they have is worth less. On top of this, because of the credit crunch in the uk, people are becoming much less likely to give. So, for those of you that are into prayer, it would be really good to pray about that!
Thursday 23 October 2008
Saturday 18 October 2008
The girls
Well, now that I've been in El Alfarero for a month it seemed a good time to introduce you to the fourteen girls who live here in the home, so you can get a better idea of who it is that I am spending all my time with!
The challenge of course is deciding which ones I should introduce you to. I'm going to start with girl a, because she's one of the girls whom I have a particular affection for - I know that I'm not supposed to play favourites, and I don't, but I think theres always going to be some people who your hears goes out to more. Although shes twelve, she only looks about 10, and she varies between acting slightly young for her age and much older. Shes one of those girls whos on the cusp of childhood and adolescence, so is still playing kids games but is also interested in the things the older girls too. Its funny how even though cultures and places change dramatically, some things about people, especially children and teenagers, are the same everywhere. One of the most tragic moments I've had while being here was when Lupe accounted her life story to me, because its just so horrific. She was abused sexually by her stepfather (as was her sister, who was raped by her step father when she was eight)and went on to work as a prostitute and take drugs, all before she arrived at the home when she was eleven or twelve. The vast majority of the time shes a complete pleasure to work with, and is very affectionate and always wants to play. But like a lot of the girls, she does have an anger problem, and when she gets angry tends to lash out rather, especially with the other younger girls. The thing that always surprises me is that when the girls get aggressive with each other, they hit each other really hard! The kind of kicks and punches that hurt you just to hear about them.
GIrl b is the youngest, whos only nine, and she was sent here from Tarija (a southern province of Bolivia) by a day centre she used to go to there. Her family situation was pretty bad, her mother and her stepfather are both drunks, and although she doesn't like to talk about, she was probably abused by her step father also. Tomorrow Yanyt and Salustio are having a meeting with the girls parents, and noteabley shes the only one without some kind of family member coming - a representative from the day centre is coming instead. Theres been quite a few problems surrounding Lidia at the home lately, as she does have a tendency to not want to do her chores etc, and (especially when she thinks no one is looking!) is really rude to the older girls. In response, this means that a lot of the aggression of the older girls is directed towards her, and we are stuck between wanting to help her improve her behaviour and repeatedly telling the others that under no circumstances are they allowed to hit her, regardless of what she said or how annoying she was being! Plus, as far as I can see, occassionally the things that irritate the other girls are as much to do with her being nine as her saying horrible things to them! Other than that, although she can be lazy she is also extremely smart: she put it off for ages, but when she eventually sat down to learn the nine times table she had it conquered in one day! Her reading is a lot better than that of some of the other girls.
Girl c was pregnant when I arrived, and gave birth before I moved all my stuff into El Alfarero. Her baby sone is tiny and extremely cute, but it amazes me how fast he is growing already! I have already learned how to change cloth nappies - although that was on the bigger kid, Marcos. She always impresses me by her commitment to her son, which does rather vary from the other mum, who inclines towards letting the other girls take care of her child. I was joking with ehr that she never stops washing clothes, because every time I see her she seems to be at the washing sinks. She is genuinely a really nice girl, whom I know had drug problems before she came to the home, and I hope that we can be friends. Shes had a few health problems lately, as the people who stiched her up after her cesaerian left some thread in there (very clever) which meant that it kept opening up and getting infected.
One more girl and then I'll leave it there for now! I may do some more tomorrow and on Thursday when I have another free day. I'm going to go for girl d, as shes perhaps one of the most unusual girls at the home. Shes extremely dyslexic and can barely read or do her times tables, and doesn't really have the motivation to overcome her dyslexia, nor do there really seem to be the facilities to help her. It looks her parents just gave up on her learning because she found it so difficult, and as a result of this shes reached the age of 17 barely literate. On top of this though, I think that she must have some kind of other learning difficulty, as she is extremely young for 17, doesn't have a very good sense of boundaries and has no idea of when to stop. I can't really explain it properly, but if you met her, you would know what I meant! On the plus side, she is extremely capable in other ways: shes really good at taking care of the little ones, for example, and cooks really well. Shes quick to apologise whenever she does something wrong.
On a personal note, this last week wasn't really easy for me, although things are looking up know after I had a chat with Salustio. I was feeling quite strongly the isolation at the home, where i don't see that many people my own age, and I only speak English when we have visitors. (I know that technically that is a good thing but it doesn't make it easy!) I was also feeling slightly unsure of whether or not I was doing a good job or not, which always makes me think that i'm doing a bad job, because if I wasn't, they would say! However, I spoke to Salustio who says that I am doing fine, and on my part, I'm going to try to make more of an effort to be friends with them as a couple. Its funny, but it never actually crossed my mind to do that - maybe because I'm not used to having friends who are so much older than me!
Until next time!
Paula
The challenge of course is deciding which ones I should introduce you to. I'm going to start with girl a, because she's one of the girls whom I have a particular affection for - I know that I'm not supposed to play favourites, and I don't, but I think theres always going to be some people who your hears goes out to more. Although shes twelve, she only looks about 10, and she varies between acting slightly young for her age and much older. Shes one of those girls whos on the cusp of childhood and adolescence, so is still playing kids games but is also interested in the things the older girls too. Its funny how even though cultures and places change dramatically, some things about people, especially children and teenagers, are the same everywhere. One of the most tragic moments I've had while being here was when Lupe accounted her life story to me, because its just so horrific. She was abused sexually by her stepfather (as was her sister, who was raped by her step father when she was eight)and went on to work as a prostitute and take drugs, all before she arrived at the home when she was eleven or twelve. The vast majority of the time shes a complete pleasure to work with, and is very affectionate and always wants to play. But like a lot of the girls, she does have an anger problem, and when she gets angry tends to lash out rather, especially with the other younger girls. The thing that always surprises me is that when the girls get aggressive with each other, they hit each other really hard! The kind of kicks and punches that hurt you just to hear about them.
GIrl b is the youngest, whos only nine, and she was sent here from Tarija (a southern province of Bolivia) by a day centre she used to go to there. Her family situation was pretty bad, her mother and her stepfather are both drunks, and although she doesn't like to talk about, she was probably abused by her step father also. Tomorrow Yanyt and Salustio are having a meeting with the girls parents, and noteabley shes the only one without some kind of family member coming - a representative from the day centre is coming instead. Theres been quite a few problems surrounding Lidia at the home lately, as she does have a tendency to not want to do her chores etc, and (especially when she thinks no one is looking!) is really rude to the older girls. In response, this means that a lot of the aggression of the older girls is directed towards her, and we are stuck between wanting to help her improve her behaviour and repeatedly telling the others that under no circumstances are they allowed to hit her, regardless of what she said or how annoying she was being! Plus, as far as I can see, occassionally the things that irritate the other girls are as much to do with her being nine as her saying horrible things to them! Other than that, although she can be lazy she is also extremely smart: she put it off for ages, but when she eventually sat down to learn the nine times table she had it conquered in one day! Her reading is a lot better than that of some of the other girls.
Girl c was pregnant when I arrived, and gave birth before I moved all my stuff into El Alfarero. Her baby sone is tiny and extremely cute, but it amazes me how fast he is growing already! I have already learned how to change cloth nappies - although that was on the bigger kid, Marcos. She always impresses me by her commitment to her son, which does rather vary from the other mum, who inclines towards letting the other girls take care of her child. I was joking with ehr that she never stops washing clothes, because every time I see her she seems to be at the washing sinks. She is genuinely a really nice girl, whom I know had drug problems before she came to the home, and I hope that we can be friends. Shes had a few health problems lately, as the people who stiched her up after her cesaerian left some thread in there (very clever) which meant that it kept opening up and getting infected.
One more girl and then I'll leave it there for now! I may do some more tomorrow and on Thursday when I have another free day. I'm going to go for girl d, as shes perhaps one of the most unusual girls at the home. Shes extremely dyslexic and can barely read or do her times tables, and doesn't really have the motivation to overcome her dyslexia, nor do there really seem to be the facilities to help her. It looks her parents just gave up on her learning because she found it so difficult, and as a result of this shes reached the age of 17 barely literate. On top of this though, I think that she must have some kind of other learning difficulty, as she is extremely young for 17, doesn't have a very good sense of boundaries and has no idea of when to stop. I can't really explain it properly, but if you met her, you would know what I meant! On the plus side, she is extremely capable in other ways: shes really good at taking care of the little ones, for example, and cooks really well. Shes quick to apologise whenever she does something wrong.
On a personal note, this last week wasn't really easy for me, although things are looking up know after I had a chat with Salustio. I was feeling quite strongly the isolation at the home, where i don't see that many people my own age, and I only speak English when we have visitors. (I know that technically that is a good thing but it doesn't make it easy!) I was also feeling slightly unsure of whether or not I was doing a good job or not, which always makes me think that i'm doing a bad job, because if I wasn't, they would say! However, I spoke to Salustio who says that I am doing fine, and on my part, I'm going to try to make more of an effort to be friends with them as a couple. Its funny, but it never actually crossed my mind to do that - maybe because I'm not used to having friends who are so much older than me!
Until next time!
Paula
Saturday 4 October 2008
A day in the life of me
I thought it would be a good idea to run you, dear reader (I've decided to go all Charlotte Bronte on you all) through a day in the life of me as that way its easier for me to give some details that otherwise I would probably forget. I've decided to go for this Wednesday past, and I'll give you all the details that I can possible remember! It may just begin to resemble a rough outline of what happens in a normal day but hey ho, I'm sure that will still be interesting.
Tuesday evening was my turn to sleep in with the little girls so I was woken up at 5.45 (it no longer feels as horrific as it did to begin with) by Salustio knocking on the window to say that it was time to get up. I called out to wake up the girls, shook a couple of them, and then padded over to the other block where my room is to brush my teeth and change. Most people here seem to sleep in the clothes they wear during the day and then change after showering, but I'm still a defiante fan of pyjamas.
At 6.10 we have devotionals which either one of the girls or one of the staff members does, where they read out a little bit of the bible and give there thoughts on it. After that we have breakfast, which is occasionally suspiciously deep fried to count as morning food! After breakfast the girls do chores, and I normally go and do my quiet time at this point. Half of the girls, who are in school, leave at about half seven quarter to eight, and I stay with the ones left behind.
The first task of the day is generally for the girls to do the homework that they've been set by the teachers who come to the home in the afternoon. A lot of them are really quite behind on their education, and one girl is so dyslexic that at seventeen it is almost impossible for her to understand the concept of tables, let alone be able to learn them. I'm remembering a lot of the maths that I had forgotten (especially long multiplication!) but a lot of the things they do I learned how to do a different way, so I try not to help them to avoid any possible confusion!
When they're finished their homework there's not a huge amount for them to do, which is why I sometimes wish the teachers would give them more work to do! But they do have reasonabley short attention spans so its probably a good thing. They do handcrafty things, making bracelets and cross stich. Theres normally some kind of exciting Christian reggueton background to these activities - yes, you are jealous, my cool music loving friends. Normally everyone (or almost everyone!) helps with cooking lunch as well, and it is quite a lot of work to cook for about 20 people every day. Its interesting to see all the different things that they eat here though, and to get to help making them. I did slice my thumb open the other day though, as they don't really use chopping boards.
We eat lunch when the girls come back from school. (In case you haven't already noticed I haev completely forgotten what happened on wednesday and this is just turning into a specimin day!)After lunch they go to do more cleaning, and I normally go take a nap. I do love napping! Especially when I have to get up at such a ridiculous time of the morning. :-/ The afternoon is normally pretty quiet, the teachers come and take different groups of the girls at a time, and the rest of them play sports or do more cross stich activities. The way I'm writing this makes it sounds like every day is so perfect and calm, but as with every family, each day brings its challenges, especially if the girls are feeling particularly aggressive. Probably the first time I've ever had to pull someone off someone else was here!
The girls go to shower at about six o'clock, and then I have to do exciting things like go fetch shampoo for the little ones from the store cupboard. Quite a lot of my day does seem to be spent locking and unlocking doors, and fetching soap, shampoo, sanitory towels, pens, paper and numerous other things from various places! After that we eat our evening meal which is normally something quite small, like bread with a cup of tea. The tea they drink here, along with the coffee and hot chocolate they drink, is mainly just sugar and water but, you know, theres definately worse things you could drink!
After dinner, Yanyt goes with two of the older girls to evening classes in the next village. In the evenings we either read the Bible or an extract from a book, and sometimes we spend some time praying or singing. Concentration levels vary! After that, and before bed (at 9)is just relaxing time, listening to music, maybe watching a film. Yesterday, partly in an effort to combat the total lack of exercise I've been getting, I played a game that I forget the name of with the little girls. The one where you have a long piece of elastic that you have to jump in and out of. It was much fun, and they thought it was hilarious!
Good news that I've now reached a stage where I'm not so tired when the girls have gone to bed that I feel the need to go to bed straight away as well. This is defiante progress. :-)
Now away and leave me comments! It makes me feel like people are actually reading my ramblings....
Tuesday evening was my turn to sleep in with the little girls so I was woken up at 5.45 (it no longer feels as horrific as it did to begin with) by Salustio knocking on the window to say that it was time to get up. I called out to wake up the girls, shook a couple of them, and then padded over to the other block where my room is to brush my teeth and change. Most people here seem to sleep in the clothes they wear during the day and then change after showering, but I'm still a defiante fan of pyjamas.
At 6.10 we have devotionals which either one of the girls or one of the staff members does, where they read out a little bit of the bible and give there thoughts on it. After that we have breakfast, which is occasionally suspiciously deep fried to count as morning food! After breakfast the girls do chores, and I normally go and do my quiet time at this point. Half of the girls, who are in school, leave at about half seven quarter to eight, and I stay with the ones left behind.
The first task of the day is generally for the girls to do the homework that they've been set by the teachers who come to the home in the afternoon. A lot of them are really quite behind on their education, and one girl is so dyslexic that at seventeen it is almost impossible for her to understand the concept of tables, let alone be able to learn them. I'm remembering a lot of the maths that I had forgotten (especially long multiplication!) but a lot of the things they do I learned how to do a different way, so I try not to help them to avoid any possible confusion!
When they're finished their homework there's not a huge amount for them to do, which is why I sometimes wish the teachers would give them more work to do! But they do have reasonabley short attention spans so its probably a good thing. They do handcrafty things, making bracelets and cross stich. Theres normally some kind of exciting Christian reggueton background to these activities - yes, you are jealous, my cool music loving friends. Normally everyone (or almost everyone!) helps with cooking lunch as well, and it is quite a lot of work to cook for about 20 people every day. Its interesting to see all the different things that they eat here though, and to get to help making them. I did slice my thumb open the other day though, as they don't really use chopping boards.
We eat lunch when the girls come back from school. (In case you haven't already noticed I haev completely forgotten what happened on wednesday and this is just turning into a specimin day!)After lunch they go to do more cleaning, and I normally go take a nap. I do love napping! Especially when I have to get up at such a ridiculous time of the morning. :-/ The afternoon is normally pretty quiet, the teachers come and take different groups of the girls at a time, and the rest of them play sports or do more cross stich activities. The way I'm writing this makes it sounds like every day is so perfect and calm, but as with every family, each day brings its challenges, especially if the girls are feeling particularly aggressive. Probably the first time I've ever had to pull someone off someone else was here!
The girls go to shower at about six o'clock, and then I have to do exciting things like go fetch shampoo for the little ones from the store cupboard. Quite a lot of my day does seem to be spent locking and unlocking doors, and fetching soap, shampoo, sanitory towels, pens, paper and numerous other things from various places! After that we eat our evening meal which is normally something quite small, like bread with a cup of tea. The tea they drink here, along with the coffee and hot chocolate they drink, is mainly just sugar and water but, you know, theres definately worse things you could drink!
After dinner, Yanyt goes with two of the older girls to evening classes in the next village. In the evenings we either read the Bible or an extract from a book, and sometimes we spend some time praying or singing. Concentration levels vary! After that, and before bed (at 9)is just relaxing time, listening to music, maybe watching a film. Yesterday, partly in an effort to combat the total lack of exercise I've been getting, I played a game that I forget the name of with the little girls. The one where you have a long piece of elastic that you have to jump in and out of. It was much fun, and they thought it was hilarious!
Good news that I've now reached a stage where I'm not so tired when the girls have gone to bed that I feel the need to go to bed straight away as well. This is defiante progress. :-)
Now away and leave me comments! It makes me feel like people are actually reading my ramblings....
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